Last Bell Anniversary Story: Yulia & Natalia

We’re pleased to again present a blog from one of our own young people, Yulia Sagaidachna, an orphanage graduate and a valued member of our community who is constantly giving back. Yulia has a gift with words. See her prior blogs here, here, and here.

This blog, an interview Yulia conducted with one of her fellow moms in the Stop the Cycle program, is part of our Last Bell 10-year anniversary series. We met Natalia O. in 2008, eight years ago.

By: Yulia Sadaidachna

LB: Natalia, tell us, please, how you came to live at the orphanage.

Natalia: My mom didn’t take care of us kids, while my father worked two jobs to feed us. He probably began stealing because he wasn’t making enough. He went to prison, and my mom started to drink. After his release, they drank together. By the time our father went to prison again, our mom was an alcoholic, and our grandmother put us in the Deneshi orphanage. She intended to take me home with her since I looked like my father. But in 1992 a new law forbade separating siblings. So I stayed.

LB: What are your memories of the orphanage?

Natalia: Everyone was a stranger. Even though my mom drank, I remember some warmth from her. I was always hungry. Every summer I went barefoot, since my sandals were always stolen. I dreamed someone would take us all home. When our caregivers had problems, they put more pressure on us.

LB: Could you give us some examples?

Natalia: On weekends, they made us clean or mop the floors all day. They took our snacks away; sometimes they even took away dinner. When Americans came, the teachers kept us from meeting them as a punishment. They took our gifts away. We were beaten regularly, even if we just did our homework incorrectly. The most awful moment was when I colored the front page of a book, and a teacher locked me in a classroom where she hit my fingers and toes with a stick until they were swollen. Right then I decided in my heart that when I grew up I’d show her I can draw really well. I’d become an artist.

LB: Is that why you entered Trade School #17, to become an artist?

Natalia: That’s right. I loved to draw. It was the only thing that brought comfort and joy to my soul.

LB: Were you able to finish?

Natalia: Yes, I finished school, but unfortunately I couldn’t find a job in my field. After graduation, when I was kicked out of the orphanage dorm, I met Vitya, and he helped me with meals, clothes, and finding a place to live. His care and need for me was a new feeling. I can’t say it was love, since I couldn’t love, but I was happy, and for many years I wasn’t lonely. That’s why I got married and became pregnant so young.

LB: I know you had serious complications with your pregnancy. Can you specify what was wrong, and who helped you?

Natalia: I was anemic, and the baby was in breech position. My doctor didn’t want to deal with me since I had no money. A student was going to deliver the baby. I told Oksana Pankyeyeva, who was in Kyiv. That day, Oksana’s father came to see who was treating an orphan this way. He intervened, promising the doctors payment. After that I was treated much better. They said, “Why you didn’t tell us at the beginning someone could buy your medication?” At 42 weeks, the baby was born. Everything went well.

I have no words to describe what Last Bell and its leaders mean to me. When I left the maternity house I had no money, not even a penny. My son’s father was in prison. I was terrified. But the leaders helped with everything I needed: diapers, medication, formula, food, clothes. Without them, I would have had to send my baby to the orphanage for a while.

LB: How old is your child now?

Natalia: My Sashenka is seven, and for all these years the LB leaders have helped me raise him. They’ve become like a family to me.

LB: Does your orphanage background influence the way you raise your son?

Natalia: To be honest, it does! I try my best to be a good mother. Without Oksana’s training, and support from the staff in every need, it would be much more difficult. I had no clue how to create a family, how to raise children without beating them – since that was how I was raised. Sasha was an extremely difficult child. Now he’s a student at a Christian school and has become more stable, calm, and obedient. Sometimes Sashka even teaches me, because he reminds me, “God sees everything.”

LB: Why did you choose a Christian school for Sasha?

Natalia: Because I’m raising Sasha without his father, I decided public school could have a bad influence on him. The advantage of a Christian school is that, besides the different subjects, kids are taught very important life lessons. This will help him go the right direction.

LB: I have heard that Last Bell helps moms to pay for Christian school. Do they help you?

Natalia: I pay half of the cost and they pay the other half.

LB: To be honest, even now, as a Christian, I still struggle with some consequences of my past. Could you tell me if there are some consequences of your past as an orphan that you struggle with?

Natalia: Sometimes I lack self-confidence. I have a lot of thoughts but I can’t express them with words. I still struggle not to depend on others’ opinions. Often I try to attract others’ attention by any means. And I keep people at arm’s length. I only trust my friends from the orphanage and Last Bell leaders.

Editor’s Note: Our staff are close to both women, meeting their needs for practical help, love, and mentorship, and, through Stop the Cycle, providing parenting training and support.