Learning to See: Am I a generous giver?

This is the first installment in a three-part series about giving. We’ll be looking at our generous instincts, the effects of success on giving, and the idea of solidarity – really seeing each other – as the best kind of motivator.

Emily Millikan

I’ve always thought of myself as a generous giver. Even though my income’s often been limited, and I couldn’t always give as much as I wanted, I tried to be generous. I donated monthly to my church and several non-profits. If I came into a little extra, I’d spend part on a special night of takeout for friends.

It seemed easy to give money away when there wasn’t much of it. For several years after moving to expensive New England, I rented rooms in others’ homes, sometimes in distressing situations. I had student loans and some credit card debt from unexpected expenses, and while I tried to pay some of it back, freedom from debt seemed like a fantasy. A few dollars didn’t matter. Why not share?

With help from family, I eventually moved into a studio of my own. I replaced one poorly-paying job with a better one, then started a freelance editing business, which took off. Soon, my first big check for editing came in the mail.

You’d think that as I began to feel more comfortable financially, I’d have given more.

But my first instinct was selfish. I felt secure in my new apartment, I liked my lifestyle, and suddenly my debt didn’t look insurmountable. I started crunching numbers, paid off my car, and wrote down some financial goals. I considered donating beyond my usual monthly gifts, but never got around to it. (Then tax season arrived and the decision was taken out of my hands.)

Getting out of debt is undoubtedly good. But I find it intriguing that just when I started to be comfortable, I was less inclined to be generous.

When I discuss this subject with other people, I often use what I think of as “the Starbucks example.” I go to Starbucks about once a week to work. I don’t usually order a fancy drink – maybe a plain $3 latte.

And yet, I know $3 could pay for a meal for someone who’s hungry. Or medication for a sick child. Or a notebook and pencils for a student in a place where school supplies are a precious commodity.

You might have heard someone say, “Eat your food, children are starving in Africa.” It’s a trivializing phrase, though; the reality is that children and adults ARE starving all over the world. If a malnourished child were begging in front of the Starbucks, would I walk past and buy my latte? Of course not. I’d buy that kid a meal.

This is an extreme image, but it illustrates an important emotional reality: even the most thoughtful people are more generous when a need is unavoidable, and less when the same need seems far away.

Our task, then, isn’t guilt-tripping ourselves into giving more. Rather, it’s learning how to see. We’re sinners saved by grace – naturally selfish, seeing only what’s easy. But with the Holy Spirit’s help, we can improve our vision.

We’ll talk more about this idea of “seeing” as the impetus for giving in the third installment of this series, and in the second installment, we’ll look more deeply into the facts around wealth and giving. I’ll leave you for now with this tremendous, heartwarming podcast from the National Christian Foundation. God often graciously prompts us in unexpected ways. Click here to listen to the story.

Learning to See: Who are the most generous givers? (Part II)
Learning to See: Giving from Solidarity, Not Charity (Part III)